Countdown to the Apocalypse: Travel Alarm Clocks

Christina and I use a travel alarm clock to wake us up in the morning, and the alarm on said alarm clock dings and then tells us the ungodly hour at which we are waking along with the temperature. That’s all well and good….

But lately it’s been acting a little … funny. It started when the clock told us that it was “47 degrees” when it was really 74. It corrected itself about a minute later—by itself, I might add. 47-74, that’s an easy mistake, you might say.


Then it said that it was “103 degrees” when it was no where near that. And then I realized—


The clock is using hyperbole!

The robots are learning!

What next? Pleonasm? Aposiopesis? … Sarcasm?!

Soon the robots will make art, or no—become art critics! Their biting critiques of our movies, our music, our literature will shame us into oblivion. They’ll flood the market with their own mathematically perfect creations. Grid paintings! Mathematical metaphors!! Binary solos!!!

The first signs are here, people. We must arm ourselves. The revolution is coming!


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