Countdown to the Apocalypse: EATR

Now, I like technology. It preserves my food; it conditions my air; it flushes my shit when my intestines are done with it. But there is a lurking danger that comes with it. And I’m not talking about pollution or weapons or deforestation or postmodern angst.

I’m talking about one thing and one thing only: Robots.

Scientists, especially the Japanese, seem to have this obsession with them, and that’s all well and good. UNTIL THEY BRINGS US TO THE ROBOT APOCALYPSE!

Horseman the First: the Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot

EATR, as it is so diabolically referred to by its maniacal creators, is the first robot vehicle that will be able to “scavenge sticks, grass, leaves and other biomass to fuel itself,” according to a recent Scientific American article. It then places them in a combustion chamber and, voila, robot fuel. “The electricity created by this energy will feed into a multicell rechargeable battery pack that powers EATR’s systems, ideally making it a hybrid vehicle that can perform long-range, long-endurance missions without the need for manual or conventional refueling.” The scientists insist that EATR will be a strict vegetarian, so we don’t have anything to worry about . . . until it gives itself a little human flesh “upgrade” and initiates Phase One of the Robot Apocalypse!

C’mon, scientists! Are you trying to encourage them!

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